


call it what you want

by my_middle_name_is_awkward



Series: Our Love is Like a Song [16]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Canon Compliant, Coda, Episode s04e10 Baby Sprinkle, M/M, post 4x10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-08 20:48:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18902374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_middle_name_is_awkward/pseuds/my_middle_name_is_awkward
Summary: He could say without a doubt in his mind that he was doing better now than he ever had been in his past life.





	call it what you want

**Author's Note:**

> This one came together as soon as I realized I really hadn't written any Patrick angst, so here you go!
> 
> No beta, and I posted this quickly because I wanted to post it tonight and I have plans later, so here it is!
> 
> It's based on Call It What You Want by Taylor Swift, which I've seen in pretty much every David and Patrick playlist. Hope you like this one!

_Nobody’s heard from me for months, I’m doing better than I ever was_

In another life, Patrick believes that David would be a great event planner.

The baby shower is going a lot better than Patrick had expected it would. Even he could admit that Jocelyn and Roland were about to throw the weirdest baby shower ever. The diaper game? Hitting a baby pinata? It was a good thing that Jocelyn reached out to David, even if his ideas were a little off for a baby shower.

But everything was going great. Everybody loved the games, even though they were a tad unorthodox, and it was clear everyone was having a blast.

He stayed close to David most of the night, enjoying the proud expression David wore. He knew that his boyfriend would never admit that he was glad he agreed to this, but it was apparent on his face. God, Patrick loved him.

Halfway through the party, Alexis walked in, glancing around at everyone with misty eyes. For a brief moment, Patrick wondered if something bad had happened with Ted, but then she smiled so brightly at Jocelyn that he knew she couldn’t be upset about anything.

“About time you showed up,” David said as she meandered over to them. “Where have you been?”

“It’s a long story,” Alexis waved off, sipping at her wine.

“Lucky for you, this game is going to go on forever,”

Alexis’ gaze softened. “Aww, you got them to play Sleepy Mommy?” David hummed. “We got so good at that game! Do you remember when I got one in from across the room?”

David smirked and Patrick looked between the two. “And then Adelina told us it wasn’t a safe game to play,”

“As if that would stop us,” Alexis laughed.

“What?” David asked once he noticed Patrick staring at him.

“We had very different childhoods,”

“Oh, I don’t doubt it,”

Patrick smiled around his beer bottle. David smiled at him and then turned back to his sister, leaning on Patrick did so. One of the best things about dating David was how tactile he was. He was constantly reaching out to touch Patrick in some way or another and even though it’s been months, it still sends tingles down Patrick’s spine.

“So, where were you?” David asked, bringing Patrick back to reality.

“Klair was in town,”

“Klair…?” David trailed off, raising an eyebrow and Alexis scoffed.

“Klair! One of my best friends,” David shook his head at her.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk about a Klair,” Alexis huffed.

“I know for a fact that you’ve met her, David,” David shrugged, causing Alexis to roll her eyes. “You went on a rant for fifteen minutes one time because you think that the way her name is spelled is stupid,” David’s face lit up in realization.

“Klair! K-L-A-I-R!” David exclaimed. “Okay, yeah, I remember her,” Patrick chuckled. “Why the fuck was she in town?”

“Her and some of her friends were going traveling to the most random towns,” Alexis explained and Patrick knew that if given the chance, David would have commented on how ridiculous that was, but Alexis didn’t give him the opportunity. “We ran into each other at the café,”

“So, she wasn’t here to visit you?” David asked, an odd look on his face.

“Not technically,” Alexis said quickly. “But she was so excited to see me!” David hummed. “She was!” Alexis defended, eyebrows furrowing. “She even offered me a job!”

“She, uh,” David shifted and Patrick could feel the worry begin to radiate off of him. “She offered you a job?” Alexis must have been able to detect the same emotion in David’s voice because she was quick to reassure him.

“Yes, but I didn’t take it,”

“Why not?” Patrick found himself asking, knowing David wouldn’t.

Alexis blinked and then a sad smile spread across her face. “I’m not ready to leave this town yet,”

Multiple expressions flit across David’s face, something Patrick knew Alexis and Stevie had dubbed a ‘face journey’ before he landed on a teasing look. “What a shame. It would have been nice to have my own room,”

“David!” Alexis slapped him with a limp wrist, making David laugh.

The siblings continued to squabble and Patrick stood at David’s side, simply observing it all. He could see the relief and happiness rolling off of him as he wrapped his mind around the fact that his sister had had a chance to get out and she chose to stay. It made him happy, for a moment, thinking about how much David really did enjoy having Alexis around, but then the thought hit.

What if David had been the one offered a way out of Schitt’s Creek? Would he take it?

Patrick tried to logically tell himself that David wouldn’t just up and leave. He knew that David’s past life was miserable and David actually liked living here but was David just saying that because he didn’t have any other options? Was he just with Patrick because he didn’t have any other options?

Fuck, guess David wasn’t the only insecure one in this relationship.

\---

_Hey, so, has any of David’s old friends ever showed up here?_

Um, I don’t think so. I mean, other than that Sebastian guy, but you already knew about him. 

Why? 

_No reason_

??

_Alexis said one of her friends showed up here and offered her a job_

Wait, so Alexis is leaving? 

_No, she turned it down. She says she didn’t want to leave SC_

Wow, that’s a little surprising, but also not 

_Yeah_

Ohhhhh 

I know why you’re texting me 

_Do you? Because it would really nice not to have to admit it_

You want to know if David would make the same decision if it came down to it.

_It’s something that popped in my head when we were talking to Alexis. I know it’s crazy, especially after hearing about how awful the people he used to hang around were, but I just can’t stop thinking about it._

Well, first off, you are being crazy, but I can see where you’re coming from. Second, I really don’t think you have to worry about David leaving if he got a chance to escape. 

_How do you know that?_

Has David ever told you about the time they nearly sold the town but the buyer ended up going into a coma before he signed the papers? 

_Um, no._

_How is that relevant?_

Ask David about it. 

But seriously, he’s super into you. 

_Thanks for calming me down, Stevie_

I’m well prepared. Do you know how often I’ve had to deal with David panicking about you? I’ll give you a hint, it’s a lot of times 

_Does he really panic about me that much?_

Have you met David? 

_Okay, fair point._

_But seriously, thank you, Stevie_

Anytime. 

But I feel like you’re still unsure about it all, so I think you should talk to David 

_I’m being stupid. I’ll get over it._

_Have a good night, Stevie_

You too, Patrick 

\---

David and Patrick are just finishing up with cleaning when David feels his phone vibrate. He pulled it out and continued to make his way over to the food table, needing to grab the platters they had brought. He wasn’t all that surprised to find it was Stevie, but he was shocked at the content of the message.

‘Hey, your boyfriend’s freaking out about something. Don’t tell him I told you’.

David’s eyebrows furrowed together and he glanced over at Patrick who was engaged in a conversation with Jocelyn as they tidied up. He sent a hurried text asking what the hell she meant and then waited impatiently for the reply.

Luckily, Stevie was at the motel and she was bored, so the response came quickly.

‘He texted me about you. Won’t say what he said, but you should definitely make sure he’s not panicking. He seemed pretty worried’.

What the actual _fuck_ did that even mean?

He sent that exact message and she replied a moment later telling her she couldn’t tell him and that he should just take her word for it.

David let out a groan and shoved his phone into his pocket, knowing he wouldn’t get anywhere else with her. He started messing around at the food table, thoughts wandering to how Patrick had been acting all night.

Now that it was brought to his attention, he could name a few times when Patrick had acted odd tonight.

About halfway through the baby sprinkle (damnit, _shower_ , he refused to call it a sprinkle), Patrick had gotten a lot quieter and a little clingier than he normally was with David, as if he was afraid David would disappear into thin air. But he didn’t seem angry.

“Hey,” David jumped as Patrick snuck up behind him. “Sorry didn’t mean to scare you,”

“It’s fine,”

“You ready to head out? I’ve got everything in the car,” Wrong, he didn’t have everything in the car. The platters sitting on the plastic table clothed table weren’t in the car. But when he looked over at Patrick, he decided to leave the platters. His boyfriend needed him and honestly, Roland and Jocelyn needed nicer dishes.

“Yeah,” David said, reaching out to grab Patrick’s hand. “Let’s go,”

They say goodbye to the remaining people at the party and then they exited the house, Patrick letting out a breath as he did so.

“Well, I’d say that was a success,” He laughed a little and dropped David’s hand to walk over to the driver’s side of his car.

“Yep,” David said, sliding into the passenger’s seat.

“You did a great job,”

“Thanks,” David replied. “And thank you for all of your help,”

“Anytime,” Patrick smiled over at him, but then it faltered when David didn’t return the grin. “Hey, are you okay?”

“I think I should be asking you that question,”

“What?”

“You’re being weird,”

“What?” Patrick repeated, giving him a strange look. “No, I’m not,”

“You’ve been quiet and just...weird!” David exclaimed, gesturing wildly.

“No, I haven’t,” Patrick said, ducking his head, letting David know that he wasn’t just making it all up.

“Patrick,” He said softly, which made his boyfriend glance up at him with wide brown eyes. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Patrick said, shifting in his seat. “It’s nothing-”

“ _What’s_ nothing?”

“Can we not do this right outside Roland and Jocelyn’s house?”

Okay, that was something.

“Yes,” David said quickly. “But not at the motel, my family is there. And I’m assuming Ray is at your place,” Patrick nodded, eyes focused on the steering wheel. “Maybe, if you want, we could drive around and you could tell me what’s going on?”

“Okay,” Patrick said softly, going to put the car into gear, but before he could, David grabbed his hand. He turned to raise an eyebrow at him and David silenced any questions he had by leaning over the center console to place a soft kiss to his boyfriend’s lips.

When he pulled back, he gave Patrick an encouraging smile. “Okay, now you can go,” Patrick’s smile was small, but it was better than nothing.

David stayed silent at Patrick started to drive, knowing it was probably let Patrick choose his words first. So, he stayed silent in his seat, trying to calm his panicked thoughts about how this could be really bad. But this wasn’t about him, this was about Patrick and his feelings.

“I want to start off by saying,” Patrick said in a rush and David blinked as his brain tried to catch up, “that I _know_ this is stupid and illogical,”

“Okay?”

“Which is exactly why I wasn’t going to even bring this up to you,” Patrick sighed. “But I can’t get it out of my head?”

“What, honey?” David asked softly.

“After talking to Alexis about the job she was offered, I started thinking about what would happen if something similar happened to you,”

He felt his eyebrows arch in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Like, what if someone from your past came and offered you a way out of this town?” David’s eyes widened.

“Patrick-”

“Wait, can you just let me get this out? I think I’ll lose my nerve,”

“Okay,”

“I know you’ve told me all about your old life and how you like being here, but I just can’t stop thinking about how you’re just settling for your life here because you don’t have any other options at the moment,” David felt his heart drop into his stomach, but he kept his mouth shut. He desperately wanted to tell Patrick how wrong he was, but he had promised not to say anything.

“And I know you’re happy with me, you’ve told me as much, but I’m kind of…” Patrick trailed off, not knowing what word to use, but David knew exactly the word he needed.

“Spiraling?” David suggested.

Patrick glanced over at him for a moment, but when he looked back at the road, he didn’t continue, instead, he pulled off the road and put the car in park. “Oh, god, I’m definitely spiraling,” Patrick muttered, laying his head on the steering wheel.

David reached out and placed his hand on Patrick’s back, rubbing it soothingly. “Yep, you’re definitely spiraling,” He said, leaning closer to his boyfriend.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, David,” Patrick said, looking back up at him. His eyes were misty and apologetic.

“Don’t apologize,” David moved his hand to place it on Patrick’s neck. “I’m well versed in spiraling,”

“This is why I didn’t want to say anything!” Patrick groaned.

“I’m glad you did,” David smiled. “So I can tell you how ridiculous all of that is,”

“David-”

“You got your chance to talk, now it’s mine, okay?” Patrick nodded. “I can see how you got here and I’m sorry that for even a second you would think that I would choose my old life over my life here, over you,” He hadn’t come right out and said it, but it had been abundantly clear. “My life was downright depressing, but now I have my family back, I have Stevie, I have the store, and I have you.” Patrick went to look down, but David gripped his face with both hands, forcing Patrick to look at him. “Even if we got all of our money back tomorrow, I wouldn’t leave.”

“Really?” Patrick whispered and David smiled at him.

“Really.”

“But what if someone came and offered you a job or something like with Alexis?”

“Trust me, no one would do that,” David said, self-deprecating tone in his voice. He released Patrick’s face and turned around in his seat, suddenly not wanting Patrick’s eyes on him. “I told you, all my friends stopped talking to me when I lost everything.”

“I’m sorry, David,”

David shrugged and looked back over at him. “I meant what I said, about being happy here and being happy with you,” David placed his hand on Patrick’s. “And I’m sorry that you started to doubt that, even for a second,”

“It’s not your fault-”

“It is, though, at least a little bit,” David squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. “You’re a lot better at showing how much you care about me. I’m not as good,”

“David, this isn’t about you not showing your feelings for me. I know how you feel about me,” _No, you don’t_ David wanted to scream, but he swallowed it down. “I just got into my head. I was feeling insecure and I let it get out of hand,”

“You’re allowed to do that,” David said softly. “I’m not going to get mad at you for it. You’re only human,” Patrick shrugged and David reached over to take his head in his hands again. “Patrick, I need you to know that if you start to spiral, you can come talk to me.”

“I know,”

“And you really don’t have anything to worry about. Someone could come and buy the town right now and I would stay right here,”

Something flashed in Patrick’s eyes that David couldn’t identify. “Has there been any interest in the town?”

“Once,” David said, scratching at the hair on the nape of his boyfriend’s neck. “My mom was so happy she was giving her clothes away as things to remember her by and Alexis was already planning a trip. My dad was just excited to get away from Roland,”

“And you?”

“I was desperately trying to find out where I was going to go, what I was going to do. I asked Alexis if she wanted to get an apartment with me. She said no. Then I tried to convince Stevie to move with me, but she said no too,”

“How come?”

“It wasn’t long after we hooked up and she said she still had feelings for me,” Patrick hummed in response. “Then I freaked out because I was terrified I was going to be alone again. I even made a last ditch effort to get more money from the sale. My dad said no, and then I found myself stealing Roland’s truck and leaving town,” David scoffed. “Only to find out that the deal fell through because the buyer went into a coma or something,”

“You ran away?” David nodded.

“Lived on an Amish farm for a hot minute,”

This got a laugh from Patrick. “You did not,”

“I did. They hated me,” Patrick laughed. “My family came and got me like three days later. Everybody's essentially forgotten about it, well, except Roland, who brings it up whenever he needs something.” David couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “So, trust me when I tell you that I’m not running off with any of my old friends,”

“Okay,” Patrick said quietly.

David kissed the corner of Patrick’s mouth. “Okay,” He repeated, making Patrick smile.

“Thank you,”

“For what?”

“Calming me down,”

“Because you’ve never calmed me down before,” David said sarcastically and Patrick chuckled. “But seriously, I don’t want you to feel like you can’t come talk to me about things,”

“You too,” David raised an eyebrow. “I was texting Stevie and she mentioned that you come to her about me.” David frowned. Stevie was such a traitor. “I want you to feel comfortable talking to me too.”

“Okay,” David said. “I can’t make any promises, but I’ll do my best,”

“That’s all I ask for,” It was Patrick’s turn to lean over the center console and kiss David.

“Okay, now that we’ve figured that out, can we go get something to eat?”

“Didn’t you fill up on cheese?”

“Nope,”

Patrick chuckled and put the car back into drive.

He felt slightly bad for not telling Patrick the complete truth, but he didn’t want Patrick to worry about something so insignificant. He had heard from some of his old friends recently, back when everyone thought his mom was dead, but he hadn’t replied to any of the messages. He didn’t feel the need to speak with any of them. They were out of his life.

And thank god Patrick was in it.

He could say without a doubt in his mind that he was doing better now than he ever had been in his past life.

 


End file.
